Because of you
by HarrietScribble
Summary: One shot. Lily plays a song and remembers a violent past. L.E/A.D *M* for Abuse and Sexual assult.


**A/N: One shot. Lily/Amos.**

**Lily starts playing a song in her room when memories of a violent past flood her. She turns to a friend for comfort.**

Normal writing: In the presant. _Italics: Song. _**Bold: Past.**

You'll need to know the above to figure out whats going on.

Disclamer: I am not JK Rowling and do not own any of her idea's or charaters... :( i wish i was her though... Alas it was not ment to be.

Read and Review please!

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Lily sat down at the baby grand piano in her head dorm room, her fingers brushing the keys slightly, she wanted to play… it was the only way to get out of this crushing reality.

Her fingers played the keys swiftly and a harmonious tune was produced…

_I will not make the same mistakes that you did_

_I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery_

_I will not break the way you did_

_You fell so hard_

_I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far_

**Amos's hand slyly snaked up Lily's skirt, while they were kissing, she was a third year and he was a fifth and she pushed him away. **

**His face contorted in anger "What the fuck Lily?"**

"**I-I don't want to" **

"**You're a teasing bitch" And he pushed her roughly away and she slammed against the wall, He instantly picked her up saying "I'm so sorry, I just love you so much and you make me so mad when you wont let me…" He breathed hard, hugging her tightly. **

"**It's okay Amos, I forgive you". **

Lily winced at the memory.

_Because of you_

_I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you_

_I learned to play on the safe side_

_So I don't get hurt_

_Because of you_

_I find it hard to trust_

_Not only me, but everyone around me_

_Because of you_

_I am afraid_

**Lily was running through the darkness, her eyes wet and tears rolling down her face, a fresh bruise on her shoulder. **

**Amos was hot on her heels, as he grabbed her injured shoulder and roughly spun her to face him, "Lily, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry"**

**She lowered her head and tried to control the tears. **

**He slipped a finger under her chin and tilted her head up towards him "You know I only do this because I love you that much and I want you to only look at me, right?"**

"**I-I wasn't l-looking a-at P-potter, I s-swear…"**

"**Shh, I know I was just making sure that if you did look at him, this is what would happen". **

_I lose my way_

_And it's not too long before you point it out_

_I cannot cry_

_Because I know that's weakness in your eyes_

_I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh_

_Every day of my life_

_My heart can't possibly break_

_When it wasn't even whole to start with_

**Amos hooked a finger around the elastic of Lily's skirt and roughly pulled it off her. **

"**A-amos, please… I-I'm not ready" **

**Amos clamped a hand over Lily's mouth "Shut up, you mudblood" and he roughly started to finger her, "You've forgotten your manner's, you are mine now remember".**

Tears slipped down Lily's face as she carried on the harmonious tune.

_Because of you_

_I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you_

_I learned to play on the safe side_

_So I don't get hurt_

_Because of you_

_I find it hard to trust_

_Not only me, but everyone around me_

_Because of you_

_I am afraid_

**Lily was sitting next to Amos on the Gryffindor table, as James shot her a sympathetic look. Every one in Gryffindor knew how he treated girls, James wondered if he did it to Lily too, if he did he was going to seriously regret it. **

**She caught his eye, and he grimaced. **

**Amos saw this and put a possessive hand at the back of Lily's neck.**

**Lily winced at the motion and James looked into his pumpkin juice to save her from getting into more trouble. **

_I watched you die_

_I heard you cry_

_Every night in your sleep_

_I was so young_

_You should have known better than to lean on me_

_You never thought of anyone else_

_You just saw your pain_

_And now I cry_

_In the middle of the night_

_For the same damn thing_

**Lily lay naked under Amos, he had fallen asleep on top of her after forcing her to sleep with him again. **

**She could see faint shadows of the furniture in his head boy dorm, but she couldn't move her neck because of the blossoming hand shaped bruise painfully forming. **

**Tears slipped down her face as she cried silently being careful not to wake him, How did she get this life?.**

_Because of you_

_I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you_

_I learned to play on the safe side_

_So I don't get hurt_

_Because of you_

_I tried my hardest just to forget everything_

_Because of you_

_I don't know how to let anyone else in_

_Because of you_

_I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty_

_Because of you_

_I am afraid_

**Lily walked down the corridors of the train to meet Amos, he would not be returning to Hogwarts next year and he wanted to see her. People shot her looks and whispered behind her as she walked. **

**Everyone hated her, they called her a slut as false rumours of her loosing her virginity at thirteen spread around school. **

**She entered Amos's compartment, a blonde was sitting so close she was almost on his lap. Lily frowned "You wanted me?" **

"**Yeah, look Lily… this thing between us… it's not working"**

**Lily blinked "You what?"**

"**You're dumped"**

"**Y-you put me t-through h-hell for three years. Y-you punched me, k-kicked me and R-r-raped me. And it's just o-over?"**

"**Yes."**

Lily was crying hysterically now, playing the last part of the song, stuttering out the lyrics.

_Because of you_

_Because of you_

She put her elbows on the keys as they made an off-key clang. As she sobbed when someone slid on the bench beside her and snaked an arm around her shoulders.

A familiar scent wafted through the air "James?" she sobbed

"Don't worry Lily, I'll make him pay for everything he ever did to you" James said pulling her tighter and tucking her under his chin, "I'll never let him or anyone hurt you ever again, consider me your guardian" _I love you._

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Thankyou for reading, what do you think? Review please (:


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